Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
