Too much gin, very little bucket
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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