peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
