dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
