You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
