Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
