community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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