Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
