I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
