So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was born a porn star she said
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
