I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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