dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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