After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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