whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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