i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
