I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
they're like a gay fantastic four
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
