I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
