i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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