I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
