He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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