tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
