i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
