She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
