If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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