But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My friends, they love my intelligence
my sisters under your porch take her home
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize