I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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