I wanna bring you to show and tell
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
