writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
