dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
