Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
