So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
