I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
