Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
