they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I have post one night stand depression
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
