You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
