i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
