Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
