I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
