ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
