put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm jealous of your bromance
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
