i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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