She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
