dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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