And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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