so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
