All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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