you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
