Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
