grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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