after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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