the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
