Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The Olympian is in my bed
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
