who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
