Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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