I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
