i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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