Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
