I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
